


Letters From Edith

by Nemirovitch



Category: The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (TV)
Genre: Box of Chains, Epistolary, F/M, M/M, Party of 3+
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 03:43:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13673565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nemirovitch/pseuds/Nemirovitch
Summary: Negotiating with an escaped felon like Edith Partridge is always tricky, especially when she sends the sweetest letters.





	Letters From Edith

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tish](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tish/gifts).



TO: AGENT KURYAKIN SECTION I

FROM: SECURITY ANALYSIS TEAM

ITEM: Handwritten letter left at Secure Box #37

Envelope addressed to “The blond, rather athletic, and very polite U.N.C.L.E. agent with the unpronounceable name” (so it could only be you, right?)

Scanned negative for microdots, bugs, miscellaneous poison inks. Letter paper scented with lavender.

^@^

From the desk of Edith Partridge

My dear and delightful young man,

Please forgive my boldness in writing to you, and I do hope you will forgive me for breaking out of that dreadful and gloomy prison.

I can't forget the wonderful, albeit brief, time we shared together back at our erstwhile estate. I do hope you also look back fondly at that lovely time, and I wish I could take you back there. Alas, the whole kit and caboodle was confiscated from our hands and sold off to a shabby domestic holiday company called Butlins. Dreadful bit of bother, and so unjust.

But, I digress. Please forgive my rambling, but I have missed you so very much. Would it be improper of me to request a photograph of you to tide me over in my exile? If you have any of you in uniform, it would be especially welcomed. Now, I know you must be wondering just how I would be able to receive a photograph, it's very simple. My contacts will be monitoring the drop box for any return messages. You and your colleagues must be on your honour and not follow them!

Please give my love to your lovely colleague, Mr. Solo. I hope some day soon, we may all meet and have tea, and dance the rumba in Rio as the sun sets.

Yours faithfully,

Edith Partridge.

  
P.S. I'm not in Rio, so don't think that was a clue to my whereabouts, my dear!

Kisses and hugs to you!

^@^

U.N.C.L.E. Northwest

Section I

Dear Mrs Partridge,

Mr. Waverly has given me permission to reply to you in the hopes that we can come to some agreement about your surrender to authorities.

As a show of good faith, I somewhat reluctantly enclose a photograph of myself in naval uniform.

I wish you good health, madam, and am looking forward to hearing your terms of surrender.

Mr. Solo sends his kind regards.

Yours sincerely,

Illya Kuryakin

^@^

U.N.C.L.E. Northwest

Section I

Dear Mrs Partridge,

As a further incentive, please find enclosed a very nice pic of Illya in his swim shorts I took at a beach during our vacation in Italy last summer.

Yours etc etc

Napoleon Solo

^@^

U.N.C.L.E. Northwest

Section I

Internal Memo

FROM: Illya Kuryakin

TO: Napoleon Solo

SUBJECT: Communication issues.

 

NAPOLEON, NO!

I.K.

^@^

TO: AGENT KURYAKIN SECTION I

FROM: SECURITY ANALYSIS TEAM

ITEM: Handwritten letter left at Secure Box #37

Envelope addressed to “Illusory Karaoke”

Scanned negative for microdots, bugs, miscellaneous poison inks. Letter paper scented with lavender.

 

Dear Illusion,

I received your letter and photograph with great delight, and was further delighted to also receive one from that dear Mr. Solo. What a sweet man, you both are such sweethearts, thank you.

I'm afraid that the excitement of seeing both items has left me in somewhat of a tizzy and I have been confined to my bunk to recuperate. The restorative powers of a cup of tea and a cucumber will set me right very soon, don't you worry.

With love in my heart, and kisses for both of you,

Edith Partridge.

^@^

U.N.C.L.E. Northwest

Section I

Dear Mrs Partridge,

I am sorry to hear of your bout of ill health, and wish you a speedy recovery. I hope this will not inordinately delay your return to custody.

Yours sincerely,

Illya Kuryakin

^@^

U.N.C.L.E. Northwest

Section I

Internal Memo

FROM: Napoleon Solo

TO: Illya Kuryakin

SUBJECT: Cucumber?

 

n/m

N.S.

^@^

U.N.C.L.E. Northwest

Section I

Internal Memo

FROM: Illya Kuryakin

TO: Napoleon Solo

SUBJECT: Re: Cucumber?

 

She obviously meant a cucumber _sandwich_ , Napoleon.

Also, why don't you just ask me, I am sitting at the next desk, after all.

I.K.

^@^

U.N.C.L.E. Northwest

Section I

Internal Memo

FROM: Napoleon Solo

TO: Illya Kuryakin

SUBJECT: Re: Re: Cucumber?

 

You did look good in your swim shorts, though.

N.S.

^@^

U.N.C.L.E. Northwest

Section I

Internal Memo

FROM: Illya Kuryakin

TO: Napoleon Solo

SUBJECT: Re: Re: Re: Cucumber?

  
NAPOLEON, NO!

I.K.

^@^

TO: AGENT KURYAKIN SECTION I

FROM: SECURITY ANALYSIS TEAM

ITEM: Handwritten letter left at Secure Box #37

Envelope addressed to “Ilyushin Karenina”

Scanned negative for microdots, bugs, miscellaneous poison inks. Letter paper scented with lavender.

 

Dear Illyushenka,

I am feeling so much better now, thank you for your well wishes.

I could possibly be in the New York area soon, so maybe a little incentive could persuade me? Sadly, I never took the opportunity to take some photographs of you or Mr. Solo when you were decorating my underground dungeon. If you could manage one or two photographs of yourself tied or chained up, I would be so very grateful.

Missing you so,

Edith Partridge.

^@^

U.N.C.L.E. Northwest

Section I

Internal Memo

FROM: Napoleon Solo

TO: Illya Kuryakin

SUBJECT: BONDAGE

 

I'll check my special photo folder. ;)

N.S.

^@^

U.N.C.L.E. Northwest

Section I

Internal Memo

FROM: Illya Kuryakin

TO: Napoleon Solo

SUBJECT: Re: BONDAGE

 

NAPOLEON, NO!

I.K.

 

^@^

TO: NAPOLEON SOLO SECTION I

FROM: SECURITY ANALYSIS TEAM

ITEM: Handwritten letter sent from secure prison location X5Rf6

Envelope addressed to “Napellium Solar”

Scanned negative for microdots, bugs, miscellaneous poison inks. Letter paper scented with lavender.

 

My Dear Neapolitan,

Please accept my utmost thanks for sending over that special folder, it will be a great comfort to me while I wither away in this dreary prison.

Please do bring along Mr. Korrakin for a visit sometime soon. We have dancing on Sundays, and I would love to rumba with both of you!

With all my love,

Edith xxx

^@^

U.N.C.L.E. Northwest

Section I

Internal Memo

FROM: Illya Kuryakin

TO: Napoleon Solo

SUBJECT: THAT SPECIAL FOLDER

 

NAPOLEON, NO!

I.K.


End file.
